It’s too darn hot….(snap) (snap) (snap)

Sung to the tune of “It’s too Darn Hot” from Kiss Me Kate (yes, Bur and Red – an homage for you). Just flew in from Arizona and boy are my arms tired.

The grass seems greener on the other side of the hill. I can remember standing in the shivering cold of a number of states that I have lived in post California and thinking to myself: “Ya know, I really don’t mind the heat much. Especially because it is that d – r – y heat.

I lied.

When it is 112 degrees Fahrenheit, everyone minds the heat. In fact, I am quite certain that post modern science would consider this tantamount to cooking someone in a convection oven. Which we know, is just frowned upon.

Despite the surgeon general’s warning I sallied forth through the desert in Uber Murtle (I promise to explain in the post script) to Phoenix Arizona to see my sister Lin and hubby Frank (Doug’s namesake) and niece Shay.

In our latest edition of Mr. D’s travelogue and recipe guide to the stars; many were the wonders we saw. Astounding were the miracles we witnessed. I offer as evidence…

Flying pigs. Yes, flying pigs. Apparently in Arizona they have genetically altered povines to self-refrigerate. They are everywhere. Good for the pigs. Bad for any chance of using the old adage “When pigs fly”. But I digress…

Oh yes, Phoenix has a ball team. My brotha FrankyG (his rap name of course) took us to see the Phoenix Rattle Snakes, or Rasor humps, or Diamondbacks – yea, that’s it. A fun day at the ballpark. The last time FrankyG and I went to a ballgame it was the world series at Dodger Stadium during my yooot. FrankyG – you da man.

Now, technology has come a long way at the ol ballpark. Imagine if you will an LCD screen the size of a moving van. I want one.

Then, as twilight purpled the desert sky we returned home to Newfoundland. Or at least that’s where these monster critters come from. Say hello to Sam and Holly. They are Frank and Lin’s ponies. Dogs like this in Phoenix are basically equivalent to down hill skiing in Ecuador. Somebody – get the hose.

Stay tuned for more updates from the road. Next up: The Fishmonger.